12 Signs Your Dating Standards Are Too High

First of all, let’s establish that having high standards in relationships is not a bad thing. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone is free to define what that means for them. If that means that you won’t settle for anything other than a doppelgänger of your favorite movie star with the personality of a saint — so be it. It’s all good. It only becomes a problem when you don’t realize that your standards are too high. And if they are (and you don’t), hopefully this article can help.

1. You’ve never had a long-term relationship
You might have had many good friendships, many short relationships, but never something that would stick for a while. Not inherently bad, but if the common thread is that “nobody was good enough and there’s something wrong with them” consider they maybe your standards might be too high. It’s entirely possible you’ve just been unlucky with the people you’ve met, but also — maybe not?

2. You judge people. A lot.
Generally speaking, being judgmental isn’t a good character trait to have. And it’s one thing if you’re judgmental, you know about it, and you’re fine with it. It’s a completely different thing if you’re judgmental and it’s getting in the way of you meeting new people, making new friends, and starting new relationships. If your knee-jerk reaction is to judge people and immediately look for what’s wrong with them, you’re going to have a tough time avoiding loneliness. Just make sure you don’t overcorrect. It’s better to be judgmental than have no “filter” for the people you’re spending your time with.

3. You have standards you’re not even aware of
Like I’ve said earlier — high standards are not a bad thing. You can have high standards and live your life with them in mind, looking for people who meet them. What’s awful is when you have standards you’re not even aware of. If you haven’t done the introspection bit of thinking “who’s right for me” then you’ll constantly be hitting an invisible wall of finding things you don’t like about people at random moments.

4. Your friends are GREAT
Making friends (and meeting new people in general) is much easier when you’re younger. When you’re younger you’re surrounded with so many people in school, in the area where you live, and just generally in life. And there aren’t any “social norms” that get in the way of you sparking a friendship with them. So, with your high standards and your high likelihood of meeting new people when you’re young — you’ve likely already encountered many people who meet your standards and are now your friends. And they’re absolutely great. They’re supportive, they’re kind, they speak the same language as you (figuratively and literally), and it’s a joy to be around them. The only problem is that they’re friends, and you’re looking for something more than that.