Not really sure what the end game with this interview was, but we will never look at Brad Pitt the same way again. Once a washboard-abbed Fight Club hunk who left a good girl from “Friends” to hang with bad girl femme fatale Angie, Brad Pitt is basically now “an LA dad on a juice cleanse” as the author of this bizarre GQ article puts it. Warning: these confusing artsy portraits of him are a lot.
Not exactly DILF material, but sort of like the male version of Regina George’s mom – a mid-life crisis in total denial of reality, trying to cover it up with botox and being into trendy, of-the-moment stuff. For instance, “No, this isn’t that. I interpret a midlife crisis as a fear of growing old and fear of dying, you know, going out and buying a Lamborghini. [pause] Actually—they’ve been looking pretty good to me lately! [laughs]”. Ok then.
And as for his trendy dad attempts, “I’ve been listening to a lot of Frank Ocean. I find this young man so special. Talk about getting to the raw truth. He’s painfully honest. He’s very, very special. I can’t find a bad one.” At least his mid-life crisis has decent music taste? We have a feeling he discovered Ocean from nosily poking through one of his kids’ iPhones, probably also shooting them a sassy, “you girls keep me young!”
And while quitting drinking amidst fame, a divorce, and living in the intense environment of Hollywood is commendable, telling us about your urine is a little extra, brad. (“Cranberry juice and fizzy water. I’ve got the cleanest urinary tract in all of L.A., I guarantee you! “)
We’re also not sure what the stylist of this shoot was going for here. The national parks backdrop is stunning, but the rest is questionable. The strange placement of Brad in contorted poses, dressed in the wardrobe of a Japanese DJ 20 years his junior, with angst puppy eyes that just end up looking awkward on a 53 year old.
He talks about his post-divorce activities that are cathartic, but also very angsty, per his old man puppy eyes in the aforementioned shots. “I’m making everything. I’m working with clay, plaster, rebar, wood. Just trying to learn the materials. You know, I surprise myself. But it’s a very, very lonely occupation. There’s a lot of manual labor, which is good for me right now” Oh. Not sure we would call woodworking building workshops, “manual labor,” but whatever, Brad. And “surprise yourself”, no less. My god. That’s a whole other one to unpack. And it’s “lonely”? This would have been heartthrob sad-boy cute from “Fight Club” era B.P, but it’s sort of just a sad now, and not in a cute way.
The mid-life crisis seems to bubble into a full on identity crisis, as the author asks him about being successful, and rebirthing himself as a person. He says he wishes he could change his name, and expands: “Like P. Diddy. I can be Puffy now or—what is Snoop? Lion? I just felt like Brad was a misnomer, and now I just feel like fucking Brad.” Well, you kinda just look like fucking Brad to us as well after this interview and these images, so we get it. Also, should we take this to mean that Brad Pitt secretly wants a rap name?
We hope that Brad is ok and sorts out whatever this phase is, and that he comes out of the divorce stronger, and not posing like James Dean with pouty Kim K expressions or doing interviews with douchey, pseudo-poetic GQ authors. We have faith in you, Brad – don’t succumb to being an L.A juice cleanse zombie!