Ladies, we guys love a good holiday especially if it involves gorging ourselves in food or getting the day off of work. Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day involves neither. Sure, if everything goes okay on February 14th, the reward is a night of sweet, sweet romance. But if you’re in a solid relationship anyway or at least have some spare cash while in the Red Light District in Amsterdam, it renders this holiday completely meaningless. That said, here are 10 reasons why guys can’t stand Valentine’s Day.
1. Because Why Does Love Need Its Own Holiday?
Listen. It is completely unnecessary to have a day in which we have to remind our girlfriends and wives that we love them and that they are special to us and blah blah blah. If we love them, this is something that a good guy should be reinforcing everyday anyway.
2. The Greeting Card and Chocolate Industries Are Forcing this On Us
I’m not one to usually point figures at others. I shouldn’t totally blame Hallmark and Cadbury’s for this madness, but I’m going to do it anyway. While it’s true that Pope Gelasius I declared St. Valentine’s Day near the end of the 5th century, it’s the modern greeting card and chocolate companies that have exploited this for all its worth. There had been a gap between Christmas and Easter when card and candy sales were at a lull, so what better way to fill the coffers then by creating a holiday that’s really all about selling cards and candy?
3. If You Are Single, You Feel like a Loser
Being alone on Valentine’s Day really sucks, especially if all of your friends have Significant Others. Studies have even shown that the holiday can cause depression among teenagers and adults who don’t have that special someone to celebrate it with.
4. If You’re In a Relationship, You Feel a Loser
Our friends are buying their girls diamond-incrusted iPhones and taking them to $300-a-plate restaurants that serve roast unicorn tenderloins. How am I supposed to compete with that? Or how am I supposed to top last year’s Valentine’s Day when I splurged at let her choose a large size Extra Value Menu at Micky D’s? Because you know every year it has to get more and more extravagant. I say, rats to that!
5. It Reinforces the Belief that Love is about Material Things
Along those same lines, why should buying a girl an expensive diamond necklace on Valentine’s Day be evidence that I love her? I’m not saying that giving her a surprise from time to time isn’t a nice way to remind her that she means a lot to me, but nonetheless all of the companies that stake their fortunes on the holiday want us to believe that material things are necessary to obtain love. It’s actually not true, by the way. Studies find that spending time together is considered far more important.
6. It Prematurely Begins or Ends Relationships
Imagine you’re in a relationship and you feel like it might be time to part ways but aren’t entirely sure. Well, you certainly wouldn’t want to dump him/her as Valentine’s Day approaches! So you are either stuck with them or you need to plan the breakup well in advance. Likewise, people use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to ask a girl out or even propose way too soon.
7. It’s an Unnecessary Hassle
You have to shop for gifts (which cost a whole lot more since businesses inflate their prices for the holiday), you have to make restaurant reservations. Make sure you are all dressed up. Plus Valentine’s Day usually falls on a weekday, which for the majority of us is a workday. So even if you are exhausted after a busy day, you have to plan something eventful in the evening.
8. Because Other Holidays are So Much Better
Christmas? Awesome. You get to give and receive gifts, drink lots of eggnog, and in the evening you get to binge on an entire season’s worth of your favorite show on NetFlix. Thanksgiving? Badass. You eat a lot of turkey, drink copious amounts of wine, and watch football before falling asleep at 4pm. Halloween? No need to even mention how much fun that is! But Valentine’s Day? Nah, we’ll pass.
9. All that Insufferable Romantic Music
As the holiday approaches we are barraged with all those corny love ballads. Whether it’s “You Are So Beautiful” by Joe Cocker or Celine Dion belting out a song about how romantic it is to die at the hands of an iceberg collusion, the rotation of these songs is enough to make us beg for death. Or at least for February 15th to arrive.
10. Most Wives or Girlfriends Hates it Too
Admit it, ladies. As much as you might love chocolates and diamonds and all that stuff, most of you look forward to the holiday coming to an end and going back to loving your guy for who he is and not for the $200 bouquet of flowers he brings you. Right? Right?