With Valentine’s Day not too far behind us, this is the perfect time of the year to remind ourselves that loving yourself is just as important as showing love to others. And more than often, that “special someone” that we have been neglecting is ourselves! Who needs a bae when you can bask in your own gorgeous, smart, and talented self? These tips will help you fall madly in love with yourself and embrace the things that you thought you feared.
1. Instead of feeling like you need a partner to complete you, focus on being grateful for the things and bonds that are already in your life, like your amazing friends and family. These are connections that will be there for you always, and no matter what, and you need to realize that you’re on of those connections too!
2. Look to friends when you’re feeling bad about yourself – when we’re at rock bottom, our friends will always tell you why they love you, and why you are worth loving. When we look in a mirror and see a distorted version of how beautiful we truly are, we need loved ones to remind us.
3. Never compare your story, or ambition to anyone else. Comparing lives (especially on social media). Absorbing all that info is unhealthy, especially seeing as what people post is just a highlight reel of their own lives. Stop scrolling though the mini-feed and understand that all of our goals and happiness is totally subjective, and in our control. It’s all about perception.
4. Stay humble and try not to be stubborn. Learning new things can lead us out of our comfort zone and keep us accumulating new knowledge and wisdom, which are so valuable to self reflection and both knowing and loving ourselves.
5. Accept your flaws. Embrace your weirdness rather than trying to shun it. What makes you a weirdo makes you so unique and lovable to friends and family, so why should it be any different for yourself?
6. Get comfortable with alone time, and learn to love and need it! Spending time with a hot bae or having a girls night out are both wonderful things, but so is just chilling out and having a solitary night of silence with Olivia Pope and some mac and cheese. Loving alone time is loving you!
7. Always dance. This can be in said solitary dance parties, or while you’re cleaning the house. It cheers you up naturally, and you don’t need to be in a sloshy club environment to get there. It’s similar to making yourself smile – it’s hard to dance and stay grumpy or bad about yourself!
8. Never try to be someone you’re not, for the sake of anything or anyone else. This involves being honest with yourself, but also being slightly vulnerable and putting away a “persona” that can protect you. Being yourself can return you to a sense of inner peace and natural confidence, though it sounds scary.
9. Take yourself out to a nice fancy dinner of your choice at least once every couple of weeks. You don’t need a man to enjoy a candlelit meal! A steak and a fancy glass of red wine taste just as delicious with the awesome company of yourself. A great practice in confidence.
10. Travel to a new place – it doesn’t have to be on the other side of the globe, but traveling helps us get out of our comfort zone, and exposes us to many other cultures and ways of life, appreciating our own lives more, and falling in love with cities and yourself along the way.
11. Try volunteering! Helping others can often bring yourself joy, and a strong feeling of self-fulfillment and purpose. It can even be a path to becoming your own role model and hero.
12. Speaking of heroes, pick up a book about the anti-heroine or binge watch a girl power series! Often, the main female protagonist in a book or movie is weak an insecure, or dependent on men or others. Find a badass, confident heroine and look to her as your goddess until you become your own.
13. Focus on strengths rather than weaknesses! Don’t beat yourself up or practice negative self talk. You are stunning, and intelligent, and innovative, and every bit is worth loving – even your weaknesses. Stop seeing them as such, and just see them as traits that exist and are equally beautiful, but that you try to self-improve on.
14. When you do get into relationships, remember to focus on a sense of independence rather than taking on the identity of a “wife” or “girlfriend”, because that can diminish your accomplishments and how amazing you are on your own! And post break-up, you will be able to heal faster because you’ll still be in love with yourself.