The major role for women has always been the one of a mother. Women are physiologycally and psychologically made to reproduce new life. A lot of girls may remember their mothers saying – ‘No man will ever want you if you don’t want kids!’ But still we live in the century of emancipation, when women take up leading roles, build careers, make scientific breakthroughs, in other words – rule the world. And the number of women who refuse to get pregnant has increased as well. Is that because a role of superwoman doesn’t include motherhood any more? Actually, there are several reasons why women nowadays prefer being child free.
1. Psychological fear
It may sound ridiculous, but today there are several phobias related to child issue. Tokophobia, which is the fear of child birth affects 1 out of 10 women today. Women afraid of the child birth tend to postpone pregnancy, or refuse the idea of having children at all. Tokophobia evolved as a result of hearing about negative child birth experiences despite the evolution of modern medicine. Another kind is pedophobia which is the fear of children in general. Women calling children ‘little noisy creatures’, ‘aliens’ can’t put up with the idea of having ‘THEM’ around. This is a very real phobia and needs to be looked at honestly.
Women who decided to make a brilliant career see children as a barrier. You can’t work productively during pregnancy, and you have to take care about the little ones after their birth. Many women don’t belive it is possible to balance being mother and growing professionally. Especially if you are a celebrity. Most successful ladies believe they’ll come to a moment when they would have to choose between fame, beloved job, dedicated fans and motherhood. So, they prevent it, choosing a child free zone.
‘I like kids, and I like being around kids, but it was never an ambition, something, like, I need [them]. … I like working. That’s what I like doing. I like to work.” (Zooey Dechanel)
3. Personal priorities
Some call it selfishness, but every person has a right to choose what is more important in their life. And if a woman never feels the need of being a mother – then she will probably have some other goals to pursue – different priorities for her life. It can be traveling around the world, developing talents, or serving other people – in other words, doing things that really make her happy. What do the famous Hollywood divas think on that point?
‘I have an unbelievable life. In some ways, I have the life that I have because I don’t have children.’ (Cameron Diaz)
‘I love the little suckers; they’re so cute, but I love sleep so much and I worry about everything.’
4. Financial issue
Not feeling economically secure prevents women from becoming mothers. Many women believe that to have a child you have to be financially independent and confident about your social status. It’s not a secret that having kids is expensive. And if a woman today doesn’t have that level of financial security, she’ll believe she ‘can’t afford’ having a child. On the other side, some women appreciate their financial flexibility so much they’d rather not surrender it for the sake of bearing children. Lots of women living in modern society share the opinion of Ashley Judd:
‘It’s unconscionable to breed, with the number of children who are starving to death in impoverished countries.’
5. Masculine role. Lack of maternal instict
With the rise of feminism and trying to get equality with men, women have started to refuse the maternal role. ‘If men don’t get pregnant, what should we do?’ Women see child birth as a burden, unfairly assigned to women. They try to show that they should not be treated as reproductive machines. Women also have other missions in life, besides child bearing and child rearing. Is there a new paradyme for women in society today? No one has the right answer. More women today don’t even entertain the idea or possess the desire to have children – even projecting into the future ten or fifteen years it seems to not be a possibility.
‘I have no maternal instinct whatsoever, Motherhood holds no interest for me.’ (Helen Mirren)
To Have Babies or Not To Have Babies – That Is The Question
Entering a child free zone or getting pregnant is a choice every woman makes for herself and has a right not to be judged for it. With the external and internal reasons mentioned, it’s no wonder modern women face such a dilemma. But what really matters is that women understand all the implications of their choice, and the consequences and responsibility it will bring.