One of the most important cornerstones of a relationship is trust. Trusting someone means totally accepting what someone else tells you, and feeling like they’re true to their word. We all get duped once in a while, but recognizing these untrustworthy red flags will help you out immensely, and help you protect your heart.
1. If he doesn’t talk to you about what he’s doing when he’s not with you. Vague = dishonest and suspicious. Why wouldn’t he give you a clear, simple explanation or tell you about his day? These are normal things that people in relationships share with each other!
2. Constantly cancelling dates. Unless he’s an on-call doctor, constant cancelling means you’re either not a priority (and another girl is), or that some other shady business is going on. You’re not Batman, dude! Keeping a dinner commitment isn’t that hard! Untrustworthy alert.
3. Girls or people describe him as “naturally flirty”. Nope. Not a thing. A guy can be charismatic and the life of the party, but still respect you at the same time. If he’s chatting up other girls at a party, or they’re touching his arm, trust your instincts.
4. You’ve never met his friends and when you try to, he’s always coming up with some excuses, and never invites you out with them. You don’t need to fully bro down with them, but knowing your man’s friends is a vital aspect of truly knowing what he’s about.
5. If he’s lied to you before. Even if it’s because he says it’s to protect you (unless it was for a cute surprise like a gift or date) this is a flag. Once you break honesty, it’s broken. Trust needs to be earned back. Maybe he’ll earn it, maybe he won’t. Your call.
6. If he’s twisted something that was a lie to make it sound like casually committed information. If that boys night turns into a boys and girls night once you have seen pictures, he’s only confessing because there’s concrete proof he can’t deny, and it’s a gas-lighting tactic that you should stay aware of.
7. You’re always there for him, but when you need support, he’s always unavailable. If you can’t trust him to be there for the little things, how can you trust him to be there for the bigger stuff (most importantly, with your heart!)
8. Covering up his phone all the time when you haven’t even glanced at it, or always leaving the room for conversations. While giving each other full phone access in a relationship probably crosses a few boundaries, you shouldn’t be freaking out if your significant other happens to see your phone screen. What’s lurking on there?
9. Also connected to the previous point – maybe he does let you look at his phone, but you notice that weirdly, a lot of his Snapchat/social media friends are women, or an unusual amount of girls liking his posts on IG or FB. Having female things is one thing, but constantly Snapchatting random girls who aren’t your girlfriend? Now that’s shady.
10. He guilt trips you all the time and is always really jealous. This is a warning sign of emotional abuse, but it could also be projection. Maybe he’s feeling guilty about what he’s doing behind your back and wants you to feel that same emotion. Don’t automatically think it’s sweet that he doesn’t want other guys looking your way.