Getting married is an exciting milestone in many lives. Unfortunately, we live in a time where approximately half of marriages end up failing. Obviously, we never go into our post-nuptial era hoping for the worst, but there are some undiscussed culprits contributing to that statistic; here are the biggest.
1. Not enough investment – emotionally, not financially. We think marriage isn’t hard work, doesn’t require skills. To improve your level of investment in your relationship, include at least a couple of hours of undivided attention once a week.
2. One part isn’t mature enough
Emotional immaturity is something that should be dealt with before marriage. Loving someone and proposing to them doesn’t mean anything unless you’re emotionally prepared to embark on a true partnership as a mature adult.
3. Not being able to forgive
Where someone betrays our trust or hurts our feelings in some capacity, the failure to truly forgive without forgetting is a real issue. You’re insistently reliving trauma of the past, which stops the ability to heal in the future.
4. Forgetting that you’re also friends
You need to forget all that “husband and wife” pressure and remember that you were buddies, first! You need to like someone in order to love them, and marriage sometimes makes us stray from that.
5. Unmatched and unspoken expectations
Maybe he expects you to become a housewife, or you expect him to become the breadwinner. Either way, your roles don’t align, and you need to discuss that head-on in order for it not to be a marriage roadblock.
6. Inability to compromise.
Being able to negotiate and meet in the middle is a huge part of marriage. If you’re not willing to budge on any of your issues, it will probably lead you down the road to divorce. A partnership goes both ways, after all.
7. Cultural or societal pressure
Maybe your family wanted you to settle down with someone nice from your culture. You don’t emotionally connect with that person but want to make them happy, so you settle. Same goes for an arranged marriage or society’s pressure to get married before “time runs out.”
8. Not knowing yourself well enough
While loving someone enough to want to marry them is important, nothing can replace a sense of true self-identity and instead makes decisions that they think will be good for them. Time to get to know and love yourself is the most important foundation – don’t forget it.
9. Impulse control problems
This can negatively impact a relationship in a ton of ways. It can lead to infidelity, a lack of control over actions when drinking, and impulse purchase decisions that cause financial ruin and break trust. If they can’t see the future impact of their actions
10. Prioritizing work overtime instead of relationship overtime
When one partner is putting in the effort but the other seems more focused on the office, things can go askew. You may be working overtime for the sake of your relationship, but if the payoff doesn’t come soon, you’ll end up sacrificing the marriage instead.