So you met somebody you really like and after some time you have finally settled into an established relationship. Or at least you think so. But are you so sure? Relationships are about intimacy, communication, building up trust and finding ways to grow as a couple. If any of these important elements are lacking, there is a good chance that you might not really be in a relationship even if you think of your partner as a boyfriend/girlfriend. Here are 10 signs that you are single whether you realize it or not.
10. You Never Introduce Each Other to Friends or Family
At the beginning of any relationship, you are likely to need some time getting to know each other before you begin incorporating friends and especially family members into your get-togethers. After all, nobody wants to introduce a new guy or girl to all the important people in your life on a weekly basis. On the other hand, if a few weeks have passed and you still don’t know anybody in his/her social circle (and vice versa), you are definitely not an item.
9. Either or Both Partners Only Open Up When It’s Convenient
The key to a healthy relationship is acting as a support system for one another through good times and bad. This could involve offering moral support when your partner has an important job interview or when a family member is having major surgery. But problems arrive when you or your supposed partner only open up when they are feeling needy. At all other situations, they maintain their wall and you never quite know what is on their mind. And, of course, they never reciprocate and offer to cheer you up. If this sounds like your situation, you are not really in a relationship.
8. One Makes Weekend Plans Without Telling the Other
So you call up the guy or lady you think you’re dating to ask if they want to catch a movie on Saturday night only to find out they’re out of town at the lake with their friends. Fair enough, except that they had never mentioned that they were going anywhere this weekend! While relationships aren’t about keeping each other on a leash and needing to know exactly where the other person is at all times, if your partner is staying mum about trips and major social events, they aren’t truly a partner at all.
7. One Pressures the Other For Sex
A healthy sex life is very important in any strong relationship. Aside from the satisfaction it brings, it helps maintain an emotional bond. However, if it feels like your sexual relationship with your partner is more like a booty call or if you are having sex before you feel like you’re ready for that step in your relationship, you are not actually together.
6. There’s Never Any Attempt to Discuss or Address Concerns
Every relationship comes with challenges, even when the couple are ideal for each other. These could be anything from little things that irk you to serious issues that need to be dealt with. But if neither of you are making any effort to confront these problems and finding a resolution, it indicates that the relationship isn’t being taken seriously, which means there is no relationship to begin with.
5. Only One of You Initiates Most of the Communication
If a couple has mutual interest in one another, it would make sense that they would each take the initiative to send a text or call whenever they feel like it. On the other hand, if only one person is putting in almost all of the effort to contact the other one, you might as well consider yourself single.
4. Most (if Not All Of) Your Relationship is Online
Back in the 1990s, finding people online and establishing a strong emotional connection was thought of as kind of weird. But today it is extremely common and, in fact, often leads to love. However, some people get a bit carried away when it comes to how they perceive their online partner. If you are attempting to have a long-distance relationship with somebody that you have only met a handful of times (if at all), it is not a real relationship until you meet with the same regularity has couples who are not engaging in online relationships.
3. One or Both Are Keeping the Relationship a Secret
When you are in an established relationship, you likely have no qualms about acknowledging it. In fact, you might be so in love that you feel the need to post a million comments and accompanying on Facebook demonstrating that you have the best boyfriend/girlfriend in the world. Please don’t. We beg you. In other cases, couples who are in a relationship (or at least think they are) act very sneaky about this. They don’t inform friends or family, for example. There could be several motives behind this. Perhaps you are considering the possibility that there is somebody better out there. Or maybe it’s just about getting it on and nothing more. In any event, if you are not willing to acknowledge that you are in a relationship, you most certainly are not in one.
2. Physical Attraction is the Sole Motive
Obviously physical attraction must play a role in any relationship, especially when you are initially seeking out that person. But if you or your partner are only dating because you are hot, the superficiality behind your motives will only doom the relationship. Or should we say, the non-existent relationship.
1. You Never Develop Mutual Interests
Partners who enter into a serious relationship often strive to find activities that they can enjoy together. This could mean hiking in the mountains, playing computer games together, or anything that both people have a passion for. When it comes down to it, if you aren’t attempting to find mutual hobbies, chances are you aren’t looking at things from a long-term perspective. That being the case, the odds that this is an actual relationship are slim.