Marriage is an amazing experience for both men and women, yet it requires quite a lot of work. It is a natural evolution of your relationship and if for some reason, you start feeling suffocated once the wedding ceremony is over and your honeymoon is long gone, then you’re definitely doing something wrong. Many women tend to sacrifice themselves for the sake of a relationship, yet this is not how things work. To build a truly healthy and happy marriage both partners need to stand on firm ground as to who they are and what they want in life. Even when you are living together, you are still two different persons. Here are 10 tips on how not to lose yourself in marriage.
Don’t change who you are
Of course, change is inevitable once you get into a serious long-term relationship, but this doesn’t mean you have to forget about your life ‘before marriage’ and turn into someone you’re not. If anything, things should become easier with marriage as you always have a special someone to support you as you evolve and get to know yourself better. Keep this in mind as both of you embark on this exciting journey together.
Spend some time apart
You still have your friends and family – all those special connections that don’t disappear once you get married. You don’t have to go everywhere together with your partner. In fact, it’s best if you spend some time apart doing what you love or having fun with your best friends. This way you’ll keep your relationship fresh and will never lose the feeling of self.
Enjoy your hobbies
It’s good if you have similar interests, but it is also okay if you don’t. You most definitely should share some activities with your husband, yet enjoying your own hobbies all by yourself is another great way not to lose yourself in marriage. Doing what you love makes you happy in general, and that’s very important in building a strong and healthy bond with your hubby.
It is very important to talk to your partner and speak out whenever something bothers you or there’s something you don’t understand. Men can’t read minds and the same goes for women. Ask him about the decision you don’t think was right or about some financial issues you find disconcerting. Speak whatever is on your mind and together you will definitely find a common ground.
Work on your personal goals
You probably share certain goals with your husband as to what you want to achieve in life together, but it is important to remember your own dreams and work on your personal goals as well. He may be a fitness enthusiast who’s crazy about getting into shape and you like writing, so it’s important to have your own free time to concentrate and do what you must. Don’t sacrifice who you are for the sake of your partner – it might work for some time, but in the end you’ll just feel hurt and exausted. Your husband wouldn’t want that, either!
Know your boundaries
It is really important to know your boundaries in a relationship and not be afraid to speak about them. We all have boundaries in all aspects of life – work, love, intimacy, finances. Some things we just wouldn’t tolerate no matter what. It’s important to talk about these things with your partner even if there’s no such issue right now. Just get to know where you both stand and what things are not acceptable.
Don’t seek approval
If you love him and you want to make him happy – just do what you want to do and don’t expect anything in return. Naturally, when two people are in love, the exchange will happen even without you saying something about the matter. And if it’s not, then you should definitely think about whether you’ve tied the knot with the right person.
Take care of yourself
Don’t stop doing your favorite spa treatments or go running every once in a while just because now you’re married. In fact, it’s really important that you continue your beauty routine and health regimen – for the sake of your mental and physical health. Small details like these help us stay true to ourselves, serving as a reminder that you should take care of yourself no matter what.
Loving yourself is what always comes first. If you don’t love yourself, then how are you supposed to love someone else? This is not about selfishness, but about happiness, personal health, and balance in life. If you feel that you don’t love yourself, sacrificing too much and feeling down most of the time, then it’s a sure sign you need to take a step back and see how you’re treating yourself in marriage. You may be caring for your hubby all the time, but if you’re not taking care of yourself while you’re at it, then your marriage simply won’t work. Spend some alone time to get to the bottom of things.
Never stop evolving
Whether you’re together with someone or alone, you should never stop working to become a better person, girlfriend, wife, or whatever role you’ve chosen for yourself. Whatever profession have, striving to become better at it will also make you a better person and a happier human being. Your personal evolution is also your husband’s evolution because the two of you complement each other and help each other grow. Never forget that and never stop!