Taking risks to find love that lasts in this day and age can seem as terrifying as jumping off a cliff. But half of finding love is opening yourself up and going out of your comfort zone to see both what you can offer to potential lovers, and what you deserve to be offered.
1. First and foremost love yourself. When you see the amazing person you are and what you have to offer, you can both recognize things to work on with yourself, as well as what to appreciate, so you don’t sell yourself short.
2. Be clear about what you’re looking for. Are you lonely out of boredom? Do you want a relationship, or a string of casual liaisons to help you eventually figure out what you’re really looking for? This will help you stay honest with whoever you engage with, as well as yourself.
3. Be realistic about expectations. Not every man will handle your monthly PMS with grace, look like Ryan Gosling, and bring you roses daily. Everyone is human and has their imperfections – yourself included.
4. Don’t be afraid of online dating. Sure, there are stigmas attached to it, but those are just due to fears that people have. You could be shutting off a whole sea of fish!
5. Similarly, don’t be afraid of being single! Instead of using it as time to complain, appreciate it, make the most of it, and travel flying solo. Trust us, your married friends will agree.
6. Expand your social game. Go out of your comfort zone and realize that while your squad is great, it might make you little unapproachable, and that group mentality could be what’s keeping you single. Try going to workshops, cafes, and events solo with people you’re just acquainted with.
7. Don’t take rejection too seriously or start thinking in negative black and white thoughts like “I’m going to be single forever.” Boost up your self-esteem instead of being self-deprecating and realize that all rejections are just temporary.
8. Don’t go for a relationship out of desperation or a such for validation. Keep being selective, even though you’re scared of being alone. This is connected to realizing your worth and recognizing the same in someone else.
9. Stop thinking in clichés like “the one” and “destiny”. While there is a finite pool of people we have that spark with, there’s definitely not just one person that we’re limited to who can be our soulmate. We could have hundreds of soul mates!
10. Don’t make your whole life around finding love. Your partner should fit into your life and your goals, along with respecting your independence. And you should appreciate and value your independence too! It’ll help you find cooler people.
11. Don’t be scared to make the first move. This can be intimidating as a woman and a controversial thing, but it can be really sexy to men and empowering to yourself. Ask a man to hold your coat for a second, watch your things, or just say hi!