First of all, I don’t know how I feel about being the representative and spokesperson for men, because #NotAllMen (lol). Second of all, I feel like sooner or later my own girlfriend will stumble onto these and I’ll have to do a lot of explaining. So, before we get into all the secrets boyfriends may or may not be keeping from their significant others, a disclaimer: I am ALWAYS completely and utterly honest because trust and openness is the foundation of any good relationship. So now to delve into a couple of these subjects that can cause your BF to be ever-so-slightly uncomfortable.
1. Who’s their celebrity crush
Best case scenario it will feel awkward to tell you who their celebrity crush is. After all, at the very least it means that you are not the only person on their mind 24/7. Worst case scenario is that your feelings might get hurt because you look nothing like Scarlett Johansson or Rihanna.
2. Who’s their non-celebrity crush
Take the awkwardness and offense of knowing their celebrity crush and multiply it by 100, because a non-celebrity crush is (potentially) even more threatening. Like, there’s no chance that they’ll ever get to meet Megan Fox (is she still anyone’s celebrity crush?), but their coworker or best friend’s friend is right there.
3. What topics/people they talk about with their friends
Conversations between close friends can cover anything, and the trust between two mutual best-friends opens conversations up to the most intimate details of personal lives and preferences.
4. Their favorite hip-hop songs
Hip-hop songs (especially the Top 40, popular kind) tend to be at least a little misogynistic and homophobic. If not that – they can be pretty graphic and vulgar. Now, of course, there’s Kanye West and Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole, but then there’s also Remy Ma, Tyler, The Creator, and Death Grips. I’m of the opinion that people can enjoy whatever kind of music they like, and it’s not necessarily a reflection of their personality. However, experience shows that not everyone like this.
5. Their favorite rock ballads
If they have a fragile masculinity (e.g. they’re “soft guys” and shouldn’t be classified as macho warriors), can you imagine how difficult it will be for them to admit that they enjoy sappy, lovey-dovey rock ballads about great love and deep commitment?
6. Their image and fitness goals
I feel like in our capitalist society everyone is at least a little unhappy with their body and their image. So, obviously, your boyfriend won’t tell you he wants to look like Ryan Gosling because what he feels that will do is immediately make you start comparing what you have and what you could have if your boyfriend put in the effort to stop eating pizza and go to the gym. “Look at your man. Now look at me. Now look at your man.”
7. The stupid crap they spend money on
Budgeting is difficult. Spending responsibly is nearly impossible. And, finally, sharing what kind of stupid crap you spend your money on can just be straight up embarrassing for them to reveal.
8. How boring he finds your stories
Your boyfriend definitely doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but I can guarantee that at least 20% (best-case scenario) of your stories bore him out of his mind. But he loves you, so he’s going to nod politely and ask follow up questions about half the time to make it seem like you still have something to talk about these days.
9. What he’s thinking when he’s barely keeping it together but says “I’m fine”
This one is the most universal. Sometimes you just know it’s best to keep your mouth shut and let the anger go away before you discuss important relationship questions. So, “I’m fine” never means that they’re fine, but it’s your signal to leave them alone and pester them with questions at a later time.
10. That he’s considered breaking up with you
This one is self-explanatory and also includes him thinking about “What life would have been with that other person,” and “What life would have been if they were single,” and “Who gets the TV and is it fair that you get everything and I get nothing?”
11. His guilty pleasure pop song tastes
It seems like these days everyone has decided that “guilty pleasures” aren’t a thing and everyone can like whatever kind of bland, boring pop music they want to like, but maybe your boyfriend doesn’t want you to know that he’s actually completely obsessed with Carly Rae Japsen or Britney Spears.
12. How much he truly values your relationship
Can you imagine being completely open about how you love a person? That amount of vulnerability is nearly impossible to be comfortable with. If you only knew how much they love you, you would probably take advantage of that. All. The. Time.!