We like to think that our relationships and friendships are sacred bubbles, like a Las Vegas that goes wherever the two of you happen to be. What happens there – stays there. And while trust is definitely the foundation of every healthy relationship, it’s im-portant to know that secrets are going to be shared, and tea will be spilt. At this point it’s not about trusting your significant other to keep everything under a tight lid, but trusting them to only share small anecdotes and insignificant details of your life. So, here are 12 things your boyfriend or girlfriend has definitely told their friends.
1. Your Third Most Embarrassing Moment
Everyone is a sucker for schadenfreude. Any tale of another person’s failure is going to be interesting party story. So, trust me, your significant other has shared your third most embarrassing story with their friends. Why third? Because the first is too per-sonal, the second gets saved for a later time just in case, and the third is usually not that embarrassing to begin with.
2. A Completely False Story about How You Met
The “How we met” story is a must for any new relationship, but nine times out of ten it’s not that interesting. We live in the 21st century, so you probably met online in some way, shape, or form. Even if you met in class or at work – a solid 80% of your flirting was probably done via text messaging. So yeah, your SO is going to make up an interesting story only they and their friends will know.
3. How You’ve Taken Over Their Life
At some point they’re going to start to complain. Oh my, how they will complain! Your clothes are everywhere, your hair is everywhere, you push out the toothpaste from the middle instead of the end of the tube, you occupy the TV, you take showers for far too long, etc. Even if you are the most perfect partner imaginable, they will find some-thing to complain about.
4. 90% of What They Know About Your Family History
If they’ve met your parents, they’re going to share the story of how stressful that was and how anxious it has made them. What’s more, if they haven’t met your parents they’ll tell stories about how stressful that will be and how anxious it’s making them. Meeting the parents is a big step, but it’s unavoidable for any long-term relationship. Either way, if your family history includes even the tiniest bit of drama, it will be shared with their friends.
5. Your Taste in Music
There’s no better way to make friends jealous than to tell them how amazing and in-teresting your music taste is. Whatever you listen to, they’re going to make it sound like you’re the classiest, pickiest person with an exquisite music taste. Music makes the world go round, and everyone’s a hipster these days, so your iPod’s contents will be covered in excruciating detail.
6. Your Quirks
Your significant other will tell their friends about all those adorable things you do that make you who you are. How you skip when you’re happy, how you like rainy days way too much, how you can’t turn each and every shower into a singing performance of the century. They’re going to make it seem like Zooey Deschanel is boring com-pared to you.
7. How Your First Date Went
Whether it was an embarrassing date (see point 1) or a blind date (see point 2), your significant other is going to tell their friends about your first date in detail. They’re go-ing to describe what they were wearing, what you were wearing, where you went, what you talked about, how it ended (wink wink) – everything.
8. What Your Hobbies Are
If you have shared interests you can bet your significant other will tell their friends about it. They’re going to make it seem like the two of you couldn’t possibly be a bet-ter fit. You both skate? Star-crossed lovers. You both play musical instruments? Watch out White Stripes! You both have years of experience in turning oxygen into carbon dioxide? You were absolutely made for each other.
9. Your Age Difference
I can’t figure out why, but somehow it always comes up. If you’re younger, it’s going to seem like a stereotype. If you’re older, everyone’s going to comment on how ma-ture and experienced you probably are. If you’re the same age, everyone’s going to forecast how the two of you will “grow together” and have tons of shared experienc-es.
10. A Completely Exaggerated Description of Your Appearance
Like, I know we all have Facebook and Instagram and hundreds of pictures uploaded to each, and yet I assure you that your significant other will describe you as Mr. or Ms. Universe 2000-and-whatever-year-it-is. “They’re so tall it’s incredible!” “They’re so short! It’s adorable.”
11. Your First Kiss
Slightly too intimate to turn into common knowledge, but the first kiss is a very im-portant milestone in any relationship, and your significant other will tell their friends about it. They’ll DEFINITELY do it if it was embarrassing for you. They’ll probably do it if it was romantic. They’ll probably gloss over the details if it was embarrassing for them.
12. How Much they Love You
Nothing compares to the elated feeling during the early stages of a new relationship. Your significant other will make you seem like a godsend, a perfect partner, the pret-tiest, most intelligent person they have ever met. Their friends are going to hate it, but your significant other will go on and on about how much they love you.