Nice guys are actually the new bad boy. Well, Nice guyTM, a new brand of self-professed nice guys who are actually egotistical and manipulative men with a heavy dose of “fake” in their friendly facades. Here’s the red flags to make sure you don’t fall for the bitter dude that thinks he’s the sweetest, but is just an emotionally abusive, passive aggressive shell of someone who wishes they could be a true nice guy.
1. They go out of their way to talk about how they’re the nice guys. Real nice guys kind of jut have their actions and mannerisms do that for them rather than needing to consciously prove it to people.
2. He tears you down insidiously – make you feel as if you’re the mean one but this is just an annoying form of gaslighting that fake nice guys do. Don’t feel guilty for being a bitch – you probably weren’t and he’s just trying to deflect the attention from himself.
3. He’s nicer to other people than he is to you – especially new people, and when it comes to making a first impression. He wants outsiders to think that he’s the nice guy. He gets gratification from others thinking he’s a nice guy on the surface, and that is a red flag!
4. He’s nice and everything, but your instincts tell you that something is a little “off” about this one. You wonder if you’re the only one noticing that he’s actually a dick, and that’s probably what all his ex girlfriends thought too, so don’t think that you’re the issue.
5. He talks to you all the time about how the fact that he’s so sweet gets him “friend zoned” by girls he’s into all the time. Well, it’s weird that he’s salty about the fact they are only friends, and there was probably a reason she wanted to keep it platonic that you will soon find out.
6. He always wants you to decide everything. This might seem like a positive in the beginning, but having someone that’s constantly indecisive or agreeing with you can get a bit annoying. Being the decider 100 percent of the time might be nice for control freaks, but is probably a red flag that he doesn’t have a strong sense of identity, or isn’t being real with you.
7. He’s suspiciously lacking of other moods than “nice”. No one is friendly and happy 24/7, so the fact that he’s not showing his vulnerable or angry/sad moments with you could be a cause for something dishonest going down. Hiding behind an inauthentic niceness isn’t healthy for anyone.
8. He goes out of his way to do stuff you don’t care about, just because it shows that he’s nice. Getting you a slice of cake when you said you didn’t want cake? Keeping you warm with his sweater when you said you weren’t even chilly? Yeah, that’s more forceful than nice. The attempt to show he was more caring than other guys just made him come off like every other aggressive jerk who makes it about ego.
9. He loves to talk (especially about how nice he is) but isn’t that great of a listener. He might pretend to be, but it actually daydreaming off in lala land or thinking about himself.
10. “Girls always want to date a guy that treats them badly” he retorts whenever you complain about anything, or maybe even when you’re not complaining. He whines about how girls always like bad boys and jerks, and doesn’t realize that saying that type of stuff alone kind of makes him a jerk.
11. You find your independence wavering. When you don’t want to spend every living moment with you, he pouts about it. The fact that he’s keeping tabs on you , or upset you’re not available for him every waking moment is something that might seem sweet in the beginning, but gets old and becomes clearly selfish and controlling soon.
12. Maybe he is friendly and treats you well, but then goes out of his way to tell you how lucky you are to have a guy like him, and how rare guys like him are. Well, since he sounds like an asshole, which are actually pretty common to find. He’s lucky to have you, if anything.
13. He takes it way too seriously when you teasingly say stuff like “You’re so mean to me!” and gets extra sensitive, taking it to the next level and actually getting upset at you for playing around. Warning! Get out ASAP.
14. They don’t show up when it’s really important. Fake people disappear when it’s most convenient – did a family member fall ill, or did you have a break-up with an old friend? Somehow they won’t text you for a week but tell you they were “busy” and be profusely apologetic. Don’t fall for the manipulation.