After every woman discovers a slimy cheater, her first thought is, “how did I not see this right under my nose?”. While it’s impossible to every truly know if someone will be unfaithful, there are some red flags that all of us wish we could have seen before, and we’re here to show them to you.
1. Things used to be in focus, but they’re getting a little blurry now. Bae is starting to get busy a-lot, with a ton of last-minute commitments. This vague business is definitely a red flag that something is up.
2. He’s simply too smooth to be authentic. Yup, it’s that ol’ “too good to be true” sentiment. If he seems amazingly flawless, then he hasn’t showed you his true, full self. And there might be a sinister reason for that, like serial cheating.
3. He freaks out if you get near his phone and is always changing his phone code. While reading each others texts isn’t necessarily healthy in a relationship, general openness is. And hiding something is never a good sign.
4. He acts weird about your career when he should be ecstatic that you’re an independent woman. He’s focused (in a negative way) on how much money you make and if it’s more than him. Men feeling intimidated if they make less than a woman, and even if they make more than you, economic discrepancy in a couple can often lead to cheating.
5. His friends are sexist and make misogynistic comments, but he seems to magically not do it. This does not mean that he’s the wok unicorn in his friend group, he’s just better at hiding those misgivings. Time for some detective work.
6. You’ve been the “other woman” with him before, or he’s admitted that he’s cheated before, which statistically makes him more likely to do it again. Even if he was just flirting when he was in a relationship, it’s a bad sign.
7. He hasn’t told you he’s cheated. If guys have cheated and are willing to reform their ways, they’ll be open about it and their desire to change, since they understand that honesty is paramount in a situation like this.
8. Similarly, if he’s been caught presently or in the past and refuses couples counselling or therapy. If you’ve messed up, you should be open to at least trying new things that will prevent you from hurting people around you. If not, bye Felicia.
9. He faces struggles with impulse control in other realms. That might not directly translate to a cheater, but impulse control in one area tends to be a lifestyle choice instead of an isolated incident.
10. They very rarely open up to each other and show vulnerabilities, because it’s harder to cheat on someone who you truly develop feelings for, and who knows your weaknesses. So if he’s keeping you at an arm’s distance, it’s because it’s easier to lie, that way,
11. If you’re not normally distrusting but have a weird gut instinct. This doesn’t mean someone who’s gullible. If you normally have a good head on your shoulders and your instincts are good, but you have that “off” feeling, trust your gut! It’s had your back before.
12. You guys never or rarely have intimate sex positions.