It seems nowadays that everyone is meeting online, and not ashamed to talk about it. Why would you be? It lets you cast a broader net and find people from all sorts of backgrounds that might not necessarily be hanging out at your local bar. But there’s a way to go about it – do you know these ins and outs of online dating etiquette?
1. Be clear about what you want
That is to say – are your goals short term or long term? If you were just looking for casual, then it would be pretty messed up to mislead someone on several dates without letting them know your intention. And vice versa, if more serious is your goal, that should be preliminary info that’s shared, so no one feels duped.
2. Keep the fibs to a minimum, preferably none
We all want to make a good first impression and make ourselves look better than we are, at first. Everyone has felt the desire to dazzle your date, online or not. Keep those little white lies extremely little, and remember that honesty is best. After all, you’re selling the real you, not some fake version of yourself.
3. Date somewhat within your zip code
A long distance relationship will make things hard. Your soulmate might be waiting on the other side of the world, and while that’s very romantic, it’s not realistic if you’re just starting to foray into online dating!
4. Pay a little fee
While free apps aren’t an absolute no (you can never guarantee the quality, paid or not. it’s all trial and error) a subscription fee might make you feel a little more sure that the other users on the site are a bit more serious, as opposed to those pesky Tinder flakes.
5. Read, don’t just look
While eye candy and “shopping” with online dating can be a tempting (our society in 2017 loves browsing in any context, ok?), looking past the deeper for the superficial will probably end in a disaster date with a very boring, albeit good-looking person.
6. On a similar note, provide a good biography blurb
There’s nothing worse than an empty profile! If you don’t fill out the info, no one will know about your personality, and it’ll make it difficult to see what interests or traits a potential partner could have in common. Ask your friends your best attributes and jot them down – it’ll take 5 minutes.
7. Don’t post your best pic, but don’t post the worst either
The best photo probably has some unrealistic, amazing angles that might indicate you’re fooling yourself. But the worst one (i.e a blurry selfie) also shouldn’t be on there to undersell yourself. It’s not humble, it undersells! Choose a realistic image with decent (but not flawless) lighting.
8. Don’t reveal too much personal info
As with anything on the internet, shouting out your cell phone number and address is probably a bad idea. You might not even want to share your last name, initially. Once you’ve sussed someone out and can tell that they’re not a serial killer, then they are granted some information.
9. Don’t hit them with a “Hi”
That’s very boring and predictable, even though you might think it’s cute or playing coy. That person will probably just roll their eyes over your lack of creativity and move on to the next one before you know what’s hit you.
10. Don’t spend weeks chatting – meet up!
This is the ultimate worst of online and app dating. If you talk too long, you could miss out on the chance to meet your possible dream partner! Don’t let it drag on for a week, intermittently talking about that new band or the weather. Set a concrete date early on to see if the spark is there instead.
11. Don’t be too picky at first
There are lots of fish in the sea, so don’t be overly picky, because it won’t get you anywhere. Even if men adore you and you think you are Beyonce, don’t be a snob and ignore people you think you may not be into, Be open-minded – you might surprise yourself!
12. Don’t obsess and stalk over a non response
That is just as creepy, if not more, as social media stalking a stranger in a manner that’s a little too extreme. If he’s not into you, why bother sticking around and feeling remorseful, when you could be on to the next one? Don’t stress, girl! Many dudes will be into your beautiful, eligible self.