Most of us grew up watching Disney movies and Hollywood films, where incredibly beautiful women tend to fall in love with equally handsome men and everything just works out like magic. A lot of the time all it only takes changing up your appearance or style a bit to find a perfect partner. Relationships generally don’t require any work, they’re just easy or they’re not meant to be. Let’s not even start with the whole idea of finding ‘the one’. Lots of these things start as a movie or something we read in a book and them somehow morph into a relationship myth that we interpret as a real life expectation and that’s not good. Real relationships are rarely as effortless as fictional ones, so let’s discuss some of the most dangerous relationship myths.
Myth 1: Perfect Relationship
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. They simply don’t exist. Relationships are all about people and people aren’t perfect, they’re fundamentally flawed. No one can be perfect all the time .They can be good, they can be caring, decent and lovely, but not perfect. Everyone goes through a rough patch and it’s normal. The important thing is to remember that communication is key, and you can solve a lot by talking to your partner.
Myth 2: Happy Couples Don’t Fight
Here’s another silly relationship myth. A lot of people think that happy couples never fight or even argue, they just agree on everything all the time. But that’s not true. Everyone argues, in fact, arguing is a normal and necessary part of any relationship, that’s how you work through any issues and find a way to solve it, or find a compromise. Arguments have a bad reputation and people think that if you argue a lot that means you’re going to break up soon. But in fact, people who argue more are more likely to overcome their problems and actually stay together longer.
Myth 3: A Good Partner Knows What You Want and Need
Let’s get one thing straight – no one knows what you want or need unless you tell them, unless they’re a mindreader, of course. But how likely is that? A good partner can’t magically just know what you’re thinking at any given moment and what you want or need at a certain time. They will learn to anticipate certain things and read your body language, but that’s it. Just work on communication and let your partner know what you want. The lesson here is: a good partner isn’t one that reads your mind, but one that talks to you, asks questions and listens.
Myth 4: If You Can’t Find A Partner You Need To Change Your Looks
Experimenting with your looks is great, but it should be done for one’s own enjoyment and fun, not to please someone else. If you prefer wearing sneakers and jeans and that’s what makes you feel comfortable, there’s no need to start wearing pencil skirts and heels to attract a man. It’s not how it works. And what’s the point in attracting someone who won’t be into the real you, but into this weird version of person you’re trying to be? Just be yourself.
Myth 5: An Affair Always Means A Break Up
While affairs are hurtful and damaging, they don’t always end relationships. This whole attitude of “I could never be with someone who cheated on me” works for some, but it doesn’t have to be the only option. Lots of people in long term relationships deal with someone having an affair, or cheating once, it’s hard, but with forgiveness and a lot of work, people move past it and have long lasting relationships. It doesn’t have to be the end for everyone.
Myth 6: ‘The One’
This whole idea of there being ‘the one’ is absolutely ridiculous. There’s no such thing as soulmates, and the notion of there only being one person who will be perfect for you is pretty much insane. It leads to people constantly looking for someone who will be absolutely perfect, who doesn’t really exist. If you find someone amazing, but they don’t fit a certain dream criteria – that doesn’t mean they’re not good enough or that they’re not ‘the one’. Don’t miss out on wonderful people just because they don’t fit your weird idea of a perfect partner.
Myth 7: You Should Never Go To Bed Angry
We’re not even sure where that saying came from but we’ve all heard it so many times we started believing it. That sort of mindset can sometimes do more damage than good. If you’re having an argument and it’s going nowhere, thinking that you have to resolve everything right then and there can only make the whole thing escalate and get out of control. If it’s a late night fight – go to bed, you’ll be much more rested in the morning and better equipped to deal with this situation.
Myth 8: Marriage Is The End Goal
Way too many people think that a marriage is the end goal of any successful relationship, or a logical step for those who’ve been together for a long time. That’s not exactly the case for everyone. Some people have no intention of getting married, and there’s no need to feel pressured to marry someone just cause you’ve been with them for a couple of years. On the other hand, it’s also silly not to date someone you think you can enjoy your time with, just because they don’t look like what you imagine your future husband to be.