When you’re in a new relationship you always try to present the best part of yourself. You feel unsure about a lot of things and tend to worry over small things. Don’t get me wrong, being in a new relationship or dating can be very exciting, but if you’ve never been in a long-term relationship – you’re missing out. There are some things only people in long-term relationships get to experience and understand. Let’s take a look at some of them.
At the beginning of the relationship, we all tend to worry a lot about our physical appearance. Do they like my hair? Am I fit enough or should I work out more? Do I look good in this outfit? These are the questions that plague us all the time. However, once you’re in a long-term relationship you learn that they love you just the way you are, no matter if you’re dressed to the nines or just wearing some sweats and an old tee.
While we’re on the topic of appearance let’s also mention changes that we worry about at first but completely dismiss later on. When you’re in a long-term relationship you don’t have to think “Oh, will they still like me if I cut my hair or change my style?”. You just know that change is a normal thing in life, both you and your partner will go through a lot of changes throughout the years, it’s no big deal.
At first, any argument can feel like the end of the world. How can you possibly build a future with a person who doesn’t like Gilmore Girls, or prefers Star Wars to Star Trek? It just seems very important. But over the years you learn that we’re all different and that’s what makes it fun. You don’t have to like all the same things. It’s fine to have different preferences and interests. Plus you can always focus on the things that you do have in common, like the undying love for pizza and Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Embarrassing yourself in front of your date seems like the worst thing that could possibly happen when you’ve just started seeing someone. You worry about how you look and what you say and what mistakes you might make. However, once you’ve been together for a while you literally don’t even get embarrassed. Instead, it just becomes a funny situation you both laugh at.
When the relationship is fresh you sometimes worry if you met your partner at the right time. On one hand, you might feel like you’re closing the door on new people and opportunities. You might feel like you’re missing out. But also you sometimes wish you met this particular person a bit later, so you could still have some fun now and then settle down with them. On the other hand, you might feel like you met them too late, and you’re too damaged from previous relationships. However, once you’re in a long-term relationship you realize that the person is perfect for you and you met at the right time and stop worrying about such things.
Meeting the parents or bringing a partner home is downright terrifying when you’re in a new relationship. You worry if your parents will like them, you try your best to impress theirs too. You feel tense AF in the lead up to that family dinner and then overthink everything you said for days after. When in you’re in a long-term relationship you just know that it’s all going to be fine. You’ve met the parents, you’re comfortable with them around and they seem strangely too comfortable around you.
7. Plus One
When you’re in a new relationship you never know if it’s appropriate to bring them with you to various events, get-togethers, and parties. You’re unsure if you’re allowed or expected to invite them, you don’t want to burden your partner with these things you have to attend, and if you’re honest you also worry if it’s worth it introducing them to all your friends and colleagues cause who knows how long you two will last. Once you’ve gone long term you know they’re always welcome as your plus one, in fact, people start to expect both of you to show up to everything.
When you first meet someone it might be scary to bring up the topic of life goals. What if you want to live in the city, but they want to move to the suburbs to settle down? What if you have career plans but they want kids in the next couple of year? What if they hate pets and you’ve always dreamt of having a dog? All of these questions don’t scare you anymore once you’re in a long-term relationship, because you know that you’ll work it out, find a compromise and your goals will align.