Today ladies let’s talk about one of the Major ‘sore spots’ оf relationships. It’s the distance. I’m pretty sure everyone has experienced this kind of love. I mean not a romance or the short-term affair. I mean the R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P. It always happens accidentally. Admit no one has ever dreamed about far away love and then actually being loved hundreds and thousands of kilometers distant from your home. But life is tricky and frankly never lets us rest for too long! So I won’t even try to candy-coat it. I know most of you now are screaming: ‘There’s nothing to talk about, LDRs suck.’ Come on girls! But what should those lucky ones do who have recently met their match on the opposite side of the planet? I know the answer. They should follow this distant relationship survival guide.
I promise it will raise your chances to succeed at it and dare I say, have some fun. Firstly be prepared your homies will advise you to take it easy and even skip it. Everyone will tell you that it’s a waste of time and all you will get in the end are the pieces of your broken heart. In case you turn a deaf ear to it, go ahead. Yep, some things could get complicated. Be prepared you’ll be lonely and even sad sometimes. But as well there are a lot of things that LDRs makes sweeter: feeling the smell of each other, taking a walk, eating together, sleeping next to each other. The simple things that make us happy, but stay unnoticed by the ordinary couples. When you and your LDR finally get together these and a whole lot of other things are more pronounced and precious.
If you dare to try it and want to keep your distance love alive, follow these 10 rules that really work.
1. Talk it up but avoid excessive communication
You two, don’t really have to talk 20 hours per day. It’s the main mistake of most LDR-couples. They think they should compensate for the physical absence of each other by endless phone and Skype calls. It will make you both sick and tired in a very short period of time.
2. Share the moments time
Send him your gym selfie. Show him your clay master class photos. Get him acquainted with your friends online. Imagine you drink your morning coffee together and send him a shot of his cup. If he’s interested in you he will be interested in the world you live in. But don’t turn your chat with him into your Instagram account. Remember less is more. No spamming, it’s all about to hang around the two of your hanging out.
3. Be honest
Don’t play a role starring a person who isn’t you. Be authentic, be honest! Do not fantasize the extra details of your everyday life trying to seem more interesting than you are. Do not exaggerate and tell him fairytales. Don’t hide your emotions. Discuss the feelings and values on the initial stage of your relationship. The more honesty shown at the beginning of your romance, the more chances your love will grow and stay alive for a long time.
4. Be careful and attentive
Don’t forget to ask him about his family and friends. You can show how thoughtful and interested you are if you share your week’s schedule with him – and he with you! He will be happy to receive your message with the wishes for good luck and success for the coming week or to wish him well for a family dinner that is on the schedule. Keep up with his everyday life moments and take an interest to the smallest details. That’s what makes a couple close to each other despite the distance. Share your problems and decisions. Don’t hesitate to ask his advice. This way you will show him how important his opinion is.
5. Be creative and surprise each other
Cook cupcakes with his name on the top. Go to the cinema and see the same movie and give short comments to each other via Messenger. Imagine there is no distance between you and everything is possible. Send him little presents or gift cards which can be delivered right to his apartment or office. All these details keep the lovey-dovey going strong.
6. Enjoy the alone time
It’s your choice to be alone or to be lonely. Your life is not only the Skype calls and Viber messages. Remember you’re still your own person. Live your life, celebrate every day. Stay happy because you’re in love. Don’t skip interesting events, don’t forget to attend parties, and don’t miss out on filling yourself with the real life. Take this time to do more with you family and friends. Go to the gym more often and stay in shape. Bet he’ll be proud to hear you’re so smart and self-assured.
7. Pursue a hobby together
Send music videos, recommend books, play online games. Go for the same sports or start to learn the same foreign language. It will give you the additional opportunity for the disputes or sharing your results and small victories. There is nothing better than creating and sharing experiences even though you’re living apart.
8. Set the barriers from scandalous situations
If you’re already aware that the night club visits or having a couple of shots with your friends will displease you BF you have only two ways of solving this issue: 1) Do not do it; 2) Discuss it beforehand and find a compromise. Don’t be careless about it. This sort of a matter can play havoc with your relationship. Doing the things despite of his opinion, you put him in a powerless position and make him think he means nothing to you.
9. Make plans together
What about your first NYE celebration? Or Thai vacation the both of you have been dreaming of? There are a lot of things we always put away for later. That’s the perfect time to make your dreams come true. Settle the exact dates for the small and global events. It gives you a common ground.
10. Set a goal
Don’t be afraid to discuss your future. The questions like ‘What do we want to achieve?’, ‘How long do we plan to be apart?’, ‘What do you want from this relationship?’ are not stupid or pushy if we’re talking in the context of a serious relationship. These are really essential aspects that keep your love in progress. It’s not about long lasting promises or oaths in eternal love in fidelity. It’s about the one simple phrase that means a lot: ’You’re the one I need’.
Now I want to share with you a list of my friends’ quotations about LDRs, based on their private experiences of course. You judge and can trust them or not, but each of their stories actually took place.
Julia : ‘OMG LDRs?! Are you serious? Skip it, honey. It’s a kind of relationship you just call every so often. It’s fake. It’s a total illusion. I’m not sure you are ready to gain 10 extra pounds, because your closest friends will be a cookie jar and a glass of wine on Friday evening. The only asana you can learn during this relationship period is a ‘bed shavasana’. Don’t even think about it. But you know what? I’ll always remember my 2 years in LDR-Land.’
Iris: ‘What? Long distance relationship? It’s the most stupid decision you could ever made. But it’s the one and only kind or relationship I have.’
Anastasia: ‘Oh my goodness! It’s full of sweet moments, best compliments, all night talks and funny Skype shots. My experience lasted a year and a half. Then he got married.’
Mary: ‘It’s absolutely normal. This is the truest form of the modern relationship. Who needs these trite in-person dates? Sorting out the difficulties of an LDR make our life brighter. The LDR helps you to see the world and even yourself from different angles. It’s like a test of your moral virtues. It measures the level of your faith and creativity. Absolutely must-try.’
Nataly: ‘I believe in distance love. The only thing you need is to have a final destination. If you know even the approximate date you’ll be together forever, go ahead. In case you do it just for fun without working hard, you better stop it right now.’
Lesia: ‘Long distance love is hard and magical. My distance relationship has been strong and lasting for 5 years and ended up with a marriage. My husband and I have been going through the different trials and finally passed the test. I can’t even imagine what else can help people to trust each other more than distance. I really appreciate the distance we’ve had between us. This is our own love trick. It has taught us the true things and emotions most people have already lost’.