There are so many articles about introverts and how to deal with them. What if you are an introvert and you need to know how to date an extrovert? The truth is, extroverts are more open and less mysterious than introverts, but it doesn’t mean you can read an extrovert like an open book. Here are things you will probably hear from extroverts and need to be ready for before starting your relationships.
1. “Let’s try something new”Dating an extrovert means discovering new worlds with them. There is nothing more valuable to an extrovert than new impressions, new places, new people. Taking an extrovert for a date to a new place they’ve never been before, trying a new activity (no matter if it’s rock climbing or painting) or tasting some kind of exotic food will absolutely melt their heart. Extroverts usually like surprises, so don’t be afraid to suggest new activities. And remember — the atmosphere is really important. A study from the Frontiers in Human Neuroscience proved “extroverts are more likely to associate the rush of a feel-good brain chemical with the environment they are in at the time”
2. “I love you!..I hate you!.. I’m really excited!”
If introverts prefer to hide their real feelings, extroverts have everything on the surface. They don’t mind showing their real feelings, expressing them through words, or hugs, or tears. If an extrovert likes you — you will know right away. If an extrovert does’t like something — you will know that too. That clarity simplifies conflict resolution and makes communication with extroverts easy. If you want to know something — you can actually just ask a straight question and get a straight answer.
3. “You really must meet my friends”
Extroverts need to be around people. People in close proximity make them charge like a battery. The larger the company – the better. Extroverts will probably prefer to be the center of attention and take part in a lively discussion for the whole evening. It is quite the opposite for the introvert, who prefers to be alone or in a tight circle of close friends. An alternative would be to create the company of people you are both comfortable with, and spend some time together to make the extrovert get a dose of sociability.
4. “Let’s go somewhere! Anywhere!”Extroverts try to get you out of the house. Always. Even if it’s too hot or too rainy. They just can’t stand sitting at home and they think it is their absolute responsibility to take you out too. They do not understand introverts who can sit all day long with a book and laptop. The life is outside, you just have to get out of the house. And when they take you out they feel like the perfect guides who can show you the world in all its beauty. Let them guide you and you will have the most pleasant spontaneous evening. Or explain you don’t feel like going out, and don’t worry – an extrovert will find some company for the evening.
5. “Oops, did I just say that out loud?”Extroverts like to talk. No, they don’t necessarily talk all the time. But, of course, they like conversations, and sometimes they happen to lose control over their speech. So, you can catch an extrovert on blurting stuff out. Especially when they are emotional or confused. And they do not mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. That’s just choosing the right words and thinking for 5 minutes before starting to speak is not likely to happen for extroverts. They like to speak their mind. So do not take their words personally. Be sure you understand: if an extrovert hurts you – either you deserved it or it was absolutely accidentally inflicted upon you and they will make it up to you.
6. “I’m sooo bored!”
Extroverts shun monotony and routine. When an extrovert wants to spend the day with you, they expect adventures, not doing puzzles at home for hours or watching old movies all day in bed. The researchers at the National Institute of Aging claim “Extroverts are simply more cheerful and high-spirited.” So they easily get bored and want to change activity. If you are planning a day with an extrovert, you may start with a bike trip and end at the whiskey bar. Your extrovert will not even look tired at all!
7. If you are happy, I’m happy. Are you happy? Extroverts are people pleasers. They are ready to compromise their own happiness to make you happy. But you should never take that for granted or misuse this marvelous human quality. Extroverts do not expect anything back. But, if they are trying to draw you out they don’t want to see indifference or to hear ‘No’ for an answer. That’s really insulting, even if you don’t mean to reject them personally. So, show your respect and appreciation, and never call an extrovert clingy if they just want to cheer you up.
8. “We only live once”Extroverts want it all…and now! They are less patient, more impulsive and more active than introverts. They usually want immediate rewards. No matter what rewards we are talking about – a glass of good wine and a piece of cake after a hard day, or a vacation in Goa. Do not expect extroverts to be savers and to think about long time perspective – like saving for a house or car. That will be later, and an extrovert wants to live and enjoy life right now.
As the real extrovert (through and through) I should add – we are the doers, we make stuff happen. So love us the way we are and let us bring a bit of bright chaos into your life. Believe me, you’ll enjoy every moment of it.