8 Most Important Lessons Women Learned After Having Affairs

Infidelity is no joke, but it happens more commonly than you’d think. Whether you’re in a marriage that’s lost its fizzle or you find yourself increasingly bored with your life, an innocent crush on someone can turn into much more and end up ruining a relationship. Additionally, holding onto secrets can be really stressful, and so can keep track of a pile of lies. If you’re considering an affair or have already started one, here are all the lessons you need to know from others who have been unfaithful.

1. Humans are capable of anything

You can tell yourself that you have a very strict moral code and set of values, but ultimately, there are specific scenarios where we will end up doing things we never thought ourselves capable of. Even if cheating doesn’t line up with whom you think you are and you think you’re “better than that,” an affair will sweep that self-righteous attitude right out from under you.

2. It’s a way to distract yourself from your own life

Reading a book might be a healthier way to escape into fantasy, but people often choose an affair. Whether they’re bored or unhappy, an affair is the easiest way to distract themselves from all the things that are wrong in your relationship. It’s a drug of choice because it can be filled with potent emotions like intense cravings and painful withdrawals.

3. You can easily end up where you never thought you would

No matter what your reason is for beginning an affair, there’s always a reason. You can always find a way to rationalize it. Usually, the reason relates to an existing problem in your relationship, so you’re better off examining that first. While we’re all doing the best we can, it’s important to take a look at what you feel is missing in your relationship and figure out what to do about it. Then, you can either work on the issue or mutually end the relationship with respect instead of having an affair.