People are constantly talking about red flags to watch out for early on with toxic people, but what about green flags? Nobody’s perfect, but when you’re seeking a healthy relationship, there are certain traits and behaviors to look for in a partner that indicate a green light. In other words, you’re most likely good to go with this person, and they won’t be able to mistreat, manipulate, or gaslight you. Here are the top expert-vetted green flags that can indicate a healthy, positive relationship in the future.
1. Consistency
Being hot or cold is a significant sign of being a narcissist. Because of their unpredictable behavior, you may be afraid to open up and be honest with inconsistent people. Consistent behavior, on the other hand, creates a safe space and allows you to know exactly how they feel and where your relationship stands. It lays the groundwork for a person to be trustworthy.
2. Communication skills
This is the foundation of your relationship—it indicates how you interact with each other. When people communicate well, it means they have excellent listening skills and ask the right questions. They’re also honest and upfront, rather than playing games. Just like consistency, having open lines of communication makes room for trust.
3. Sense of humor
Although being funny is a turn-on, meeting someone with a healthy sense of humor is more than finding someone who makes you laugh. Can they make jokes without being rude? Do they occasionally make jokes about themselves, or are you always the butt of the joke? If they can take a joke and dish it, that’s a green flag!
4. Conflict resolution
Topics like politics or religion can be tricky to discuss socially. Observe how they handle difficult subjects with people they disagree with—do they do it respectfully? If they can make space for other viewpoints without being dismissive, that’s a green flag regarding how they’ll handle conflicts in your relationship and a good sign that they won’t dismiss your feelings, even if they disagree.
5. They treat you as an equal
Uneven power dynamics are a big no-no in relationships. Someone needs to meet you as their equal, and if they act dominantly, make disrespectful comments, or speak down to you, it can be a red flag that indicates an abusive relationship in the future. Don’t be silent if someone ignores your boundaries—you’re worthy of respect and love.
6. Ability to have serious conversations
Many people dread “DTR” or defining the relationship, but the ability to have tough conversations is a sign that you’ll have a strong future. If you ask them how long they usually date someone before they decide to be monogamous, are they responsive? Or what about asking what things annoy them or what topics they fought about with past partners? Having these conversations allows you to be more comfortable discussing boundaries and what respect means in your own relationship.
7. Accountability
The ability to apologize is a big one. People need to admit when they’ve made a mistake and own up to those errors without someone flipping the blame on someone else. This validates the other person’s experience and also acknowledges responsibility. Ideally, someone will ask questions about how they hurt you and seek to fix the situation rather than getting defensive.
8. Vulnerability
Vulnerability is sexy, and it’s a must-have for a healthy relationship. The other person should be able to talk about their fears and insecurities or flaws, along with their wants and desires. This is the deepest form of honesty, it’s letting someone else into your inner world. Not that oversharing on the first date isn’t the same as being vulnerable!
9. They celebrate your wins and are supportive
When you achieve wins, big or small, whether it’s getting a promotion, overcoming a challenge, or doing a fantastic job on a project, your partner should praise you and be proud of those achievements. If they somehow connect your achievements to themselves and infer that you couldn’t have done it without them, that’s a red flag. If they’re genuinely proud of you, that’s a green flag.
10. They have a growth mindset
Stagnation causes you to stay still in life. You want someone who’s passionate about growing as a person because it doesn’t just mean they want to be better for you, it means they want to be better for themselves, and it’s a sign of self-love. A desire for growth shows emotional maturity and self-awareness, which leads to an ability to reflect and, hence, connect more effectively with your partner.
11. They ask questions about your feelings and experience
There’s nothing worse than hearing narcissists drone on and on about themselves without any interest in the person sitting across from them. Seek out people with a genuinely curious nature! When people ask the right questions, it shows that they care and that they’re not concerned only with themselves or being right.