In a relationship, few things are as bad as cheating. But one thing sure comes close – when your man is still pining over their ex. Maybe it’s a gut feeling, or you saw something on his phone. Getting over a past love is never easy, but it is essential if you’re starting a relationship with a new partner. Just the idea of bae thinking of someone else gives you heart pangs. Here are some signs that your lover just can’t seem to move on from their ex.
1. He talks about her a lot
Bringing up your ex once in a while isn’t terrible in itself. But if it seems like he talks about his past more than his present or even compares you to her, that’s a huge red flag. If he’s raving about any girl, it should be you!
2. They’re “friends”
Someone being friends with their ex can be extremely stressful for their current partner. Even though there’s nothing wrong with being on good terms with a past partner, there are some signs that can help you tell if he’s not over her. If it’s more than a coffee meet up or lunch, it can raise an eyebrow. Dinner isn’t traditionally for exes. Additionally, if he chooses hanging out with her over hanging out with you, that’s a no.
3. He’s still a part of her family
It’s natural to meld with your partner’s family…when you’re still together. After a breakup, it’s a bummer, but you also break up with your ex’s family – even if you guys had a tight bond. Say that your boo still attends their Thanksgiving dinner, helps her parents around the house, or gets invited to major events. That’s a crossing of boundaries that you need to discuss immediately.
4. He’s still doing favors for her
Even if bae is just the generous type to always help someone out, those acts of selflessness don’t really apply to his ex. If she’s always calling for something and he’s always there to help her out, it’s a clear power move that’s telling you “he’s not over me yet, and will always choose me over you.” This isn’t ok, so let him know.
5. He still stalks her on Instagram
If you’ve noticed that she’s all over his social media and he’s constantly scrolling through her profile, it’s not a great sign. In the same vein, constant tagging of each other or pictures together is also not cool. It’s a surefire sign that she’s actively on his mind.
6. He always takes her phone calls no matter what
Just the fact that your ex is calling your man frequently is suspicious, but what makes it way worse is if he picks up every time. Especially if that’s during your date with each other or a serious conversation. In a sense, it means that he’s addicted to her and can’t give her up, fully. You should be a priority, not her.
7. He still seems upset with her
Some women would be happy to hear hateful words about their boyfriend’s ex. But if he still gets riled up when talking about her, it means he’s still holding onto the relationship emotionally. Those angry feelings should dissolve over time as he moves on, and if they haven’t it means that he hasn’t. He might still be trying to convince himself that he’s not in love with her.
8. He makes comparisons between you and her
No matter if they’re good or bad, a man should never compare his current partner with his ex. Especially if he’s showing the ex in a positive light, and trying to get his new girlfriend to be more like her. He should appreciate you for who you are – not try to change you into someone else.
9. He doesn’t let you hang out with mutual friends
Your guy should be proud to show you off if you’re in a relationship with him! He should want to share his entire world with you, including old and new friends. But if he’s unsure about bringing you around old friends or events with people who know his ex, it could mean that he’s actually hoping that he’ll run into her. Either that, or his friends know he’s still hung up on her, and he’s terrified you’ll find out.
10. He accidentally calls you by her name
This is a truly cringe-worthy faux pas that’s even worse than mentioning her name – he calls you by it! An obvious move like this really lets you know someone else is on his mind. Even if you hear him say her name in a dream – it’s a good way to gauge whether he’s still thinking about her, consciously or subconsciously.