It’s true – Hollywood isn’t exactly where you come to get the most sensible and pragmatic love advice. It’s a land of huge, dramatic gestures and unrealistic expectations. Hollywood, through movies and celeb relationships, have taught us a boatload of myths about love. Here are the most important ones that you should be aware of when you meet “the one.”
1. The other person will complete you
“You complete me” feels like a compliment, but it’s the fastest way to a disaster with your partner. The love of your life might complement you in great ways, but the other person doesn’t “complete you.” You’re complete on your own, and the idea that you need someone else is not healthy.
2. Searching for your prince one day
Sorry ladies – there is no Prince Charming or knight in shining armor that will come to rescue you from all your problems. Also, newsflash: women don’t need saving! We are not helpless on our own, but younger girls don’t know this, and it’s a terrible lesson to teach them. Don’t wait for the perfect boy to make your life better – be independent and make it better yourself!
3. We all fall for the lone wolf
Nobody falls in love with an emotionally unavailable man like Hollywood does. They’re rough around the edges, super distant, and in need of some fixing, which the female lead enthusiastically takes on. Sorry to break it to you, but they’re not going to turn into sensitive sweethearts- they’ll stay distant and make you feel lonely – don’t fall for a grump!
4. When you fall in love, the relationship just falls into place
What a lie! Relationships are hard work and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Living with someone for one year or 50 years can be equally tough and involves a ton of compromises. The emotional aspect of love can be really tough and isn’t always easy.
5. You’ll never get over that breakup, or you’ll get over it immediately
Some people in films are shown getting over an ex just by having a beer and a chat with their friends, and it’s all good again. The other stereotype is that of the woman who cries herself to sleep every night and can’t get over her ex of 10 years, who is now engaged to another woman. Realistically, time heals all, and you’ll get over it slowly, but it’ll always suck.
6. Stalking means he loves you
In some movies, we see a guy going through a girl’s mail, over-protectively looking at texts…and it’s a sign that they’re in love with each other? Prime example: “You’ve Got Mail.” Stalking is not affection or love. It’s dangerous and even a scary red flag that could predict potential future abuse.
7. A makeover is the answer
In movies, it always seems that the loner goth girl, when she puts on a mini-dress, straightens her hair and takes off the glasses, she magically becomes a pageant queen. But makeovers aren’t miracles. They can’t solve your problems. Find a guy who doesn’t make you feel as though you have to go through all that dressing up and effort just to feel beautiful.
8. Passionate break-ups and passionate makeups
Hollywood romances, whether celeb or fictionalized, have one thing in common: they’re always on and off, and making it seem like this is a normal thing. It’s not. Stability is awesome, toxic and impulse driven behaviour is not. It’s ok to get into fights and then makeup, but constant highs and lows aren’t good for anyone.
9. Pretend you’re someone you’re not
As How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days demonstrates, faking a persona never ends well. If someone falls in love with a different persona, they’re not really falling for you – just the idea of you, and that’s not very rewarding in the end.
10. Gigantic romantic gestures will always win her back
While having someone make a grand gesture in public sounds nice in theory, sometimes it can just feel overwhelming and humiliating when the person wants to talk about things in quiet, or say no. It makes people feel like they don’t have a choice, and over-the-top gestures don’t necessary mean he’s sorry. Just that he’s looking for attention.
11. Mr Right is someone you used to hate, or your male BFF
In real life, sometimes our male best friends are just that – platonic best friends. Not a soulmate waiting to be. And the same goes for your enemy. If you hate a guy, chances are you’re not going to stop hating him and magically reverse all those feelings. He probably still sucks. These fantasies are lovely, but they’re not real.