A lot of people think it’s the ultimate betrayal of girl code if you date a friend’s ex. They believe that it is disrespectful and a sign of being a shady friend.
1. Although this might seem counterintuitive, don’t ask your friend for permission. Although you should be sensitive and make sure that this is not a poor decision, asking for permission can leave you giving up control and your own free will, at the end of the day.
2. If you’re just looking for a hook-up, your friend’s ex might not be the best choice even he does look like a Greek god.
3. Never trash talk your friend, or their ex. You can ask your partner for advice if you’re in a fight with a friend, but don’t make it personal, especially if they ended on bad terms. This is manipulative on your part, and you can never appear to take sides post-break up, even if you’re dating one of the parties.
4. Don’t gossip about it with your friend. Keep your friend’s secrets, and same with your romantic partner. Save it for someone who doesn’t have history with him.
5. The breakup should have been healthy enough so that the two of them (your friend and their ex) can cordially be in the same room as each other without some drama going down. If you can’t hang out in a group but your friend is important to you and you see a future with their ex, social gatherings might be little tricky in the future.
6. Don’t force bae to make comparisons between you and your friend. Never (even coyly) ask if you’re smarter, or prettier, or overall just a better choice. Women comparing themselves to other women has never ended well, and basing your self esteem on someone else isn’t good. Don’t enable that competition!
7. Hold off on the paranoia. When you’re in a situation like this, it can get paranoid easily, earring that your friend and your partner might still have feelings for each other. That being said, if your friend isn’t the scheming type, you can trust both parties, just keep an eye out for red flags.
8. Understand that some exes are off limits for serious reasons, and we’re not talking girl code. This could be abuse of the emotional or physical type, as well as a wrongness to cheating. By engaging in a relationship with him, you’re endorsing the mistreatment of your friend and all women.
9. Ultimately, communication and honesty are key for both your partner and your friend. Read how they’re feeling about the situation, and not just what’s coming out of their mouth. Make sure they’re broken up for good and not just on a break.
10. If it was a high school relationship or your friend initiated the breakup, it should be fine, but having a conversation is still good etiquette. Analyzing the reality of the situation can be tough to do objectively, but plays a big role in a sticky situation like this.