Sometimes, the inevitable happens, and you find yourself in a bit of a love triangle. Choosing between two phenomenal guys can feel really difficult, but there are some exercises you can do to figure out which one is really the guy for you, without hurting anyone’s feelings.
1. Consider the positive qualities of each guy. Is he open-minded or does he have prejudices? Does he make you laugh? Is he interested in things other than his own ego? These are important questions to ask.
2. Think about how he affects you and makes you feel. You want a guy that’s not too hard on you, but challenges you. One that brings out the best in you and compliments you in a meaningful and not generic way.
3. Consider possible negative qualities. Has the guy ever lied to you or been manipulative? Does he talk about his ex-girlfriend a little too much?
4. Don’t rush your decision – a relationship is nothing to make snap judgements over. Ideally, one of the guys will help you make the decision easier by doing something incredible or horrible, and big decisions take time.
5. Instead of asking your friends who they like more, ask who they think is better for you, creating a better suggestion of who they would date rather than who they think you should. And be open when they give you advice instead of being overly stubborn.
6. Bring up as many of your interests as possible with both of them. If one of them seems to align with yours harmoniously, and the other seems to go off on a tangent, this can help guide your decision.
7. When you make your decisions, don’t flip flop. Flirting with the other dude and hanging out alone with him are boundary breakers, and send mixed signals to the boo you did choose.
8. Even though you might be into both of them, be sure that you’re not wearing rose-colored glasses and overlooking red flags that you shouldn’t’ This can include controlling behavior, negative attitudes, or moving too fast physically.
9. How is he in his own life? Does he treat his family and parents with respect, and give back to his community? Lifestyle hints and how he deals with bad days or unexpected speed bumps will help show you if he can make it through the ups and downs, or isn’t strong enough.
10. Do you ever feel like you’re being unfaithful when you’re with one of them? This might direct you to the guy you’re subconsciously into if you’re on a date with one and feel like you’re supposed to be with the other.
11. Think of who you wish texted you more often. When you phone beeps, if you instinctively find that you want one name to show up more than the other, that may be the suitor that’s meant to be with you.
12. When all else fails, go with your gut. At the end of the day, it’s easy to overthink everything and make your final decision even more difficult. Make sure you’ve considered past mistakes that you learned from.