Moving in together is a big step in any relationship. Even if you’ve declared your love to someone, spending nights with them and sharing a mutual space is a totally different situation. If you don’t discuss certain things beforehand, problems will arise and it will make for a stressful living situation. Here are the ultimate questions to ask yourself before moving in with someone.
1. How will you split household expenses?
Figuring out who is paying for what is very important. Having money talks are sometimes awkward, but important for any adult relationship. Discuss if there will be a joint account set up, or if you’ll divide things separately. Having a quick but slightly awkward finances chat is way better than feeling uncomfortable with certain responsibilities.
2. What is the pet policy of the household?
If one of you already has a pet, discuss who will be paying for medical bills and pet care. Are you both bringing a pet into the house? If so, it’s essential they spend time together beforehand so they will get along when sharing a space. It’s also important to establish rules, like if pets will be allowed on counters, couches, or the bed.
3. Whose name will be on the lease?
Will both of you have your name on the lease, or just one. Sure, this might be scary and considered a “break up plan” by some, but it’s still important to have the discussion, since forever isn’t always on the table and it’s important to be realistic.
4. How will chores and meal planning be distributed?
Household tasks certainly aren’t going to do themselves, and it’s important to talk about who will take on what tasks or areas, like garbage, dishes, or the dreaded bathroom deep clean. Maybe one of you focuses on cooking and grocery shopping, while the other does cleaning. If labor is being somewhat fairly divided, that`s what matters most.
5. Do you see a future with this person?
This will also help determine whether you choose to rent or buy. Do you see yourself marrying this person eventually, or at least embarking on a long-term partnership with them? In other words, what’s the ultimate goal? Marriage doesn’t have to be the goal, but the two of you should talk about it openly — if the reason is simply to save on rent, enjoy bae’s company and seeing where things go, that’s perfectly find as well.
6. What is the policy on guests?
If guests come over, does your partner require notice ahead of time? How frequently are guests allowed over and do they need to take their shoes off? Additionally, if one partner is an early sleeper, there may need to be a cutoff time for having people over. Figuring these out beforehand will avoid a great amount of fights. Especially if you don’t exactly get along with your partner’s friends.
7. Do you travel well together?
This is a fantastic preview of whether you’re ready to move in together or not. If you haven’t traveled together, consider doing a weekend trip or short vacation. If you can make it through scenarios like plane delays or roughing it together in the wilderness without freaking out at each other, it’s a good sign that you can cohabitate. But if sharing close quarters has felt impossible or frustrating, you may want to reconsider cohabitation.
8. Do you communicate well?
No couple wants to deal with conflict, but it’s an unfortunate reality that everybody goes through. Rather than sweeping things under the rug, can you handle things head-on and work through conversations in a healthy way with your partner? Communicating and having these tough chats are integral to any relationship, especially if you’re living together. If you can’t solve problems when living separately, things will get pretty stressful once you become roommates.
9. How much do the little annoying things bother you?
Every couple has things that they get annoyed about with the other person. After all, you can’t love every single thing about bae, even if they are your soulmate. However, the question to ask yourself is how much do they get on your nerves? If the way they leave their clothes around, sneeze, or if chew their food is simply unbearable to you, then it won’t get any better if the two of you are living under the same roof.
10. Will there be enough space for you to live comfortably?
Maybe one of you need alone time so much, you require something like an office or second bedroom to get the space you need. Or perhaps you’re used to living with multiple roommates in small quarters and don’t need much personal space at all. This will all determine the size and layout of the space that you rent or buy.
