Setting personal and emotional boundaries is an important part of any relationship. Without appropriate boundaries, it can feel impossible to protect yourself from manipulation. It opens the door for others to use or hurt you. But how can you walk the fine line between having a healthy relationship and setting boundaries in a romantic relationship?
By definition, boundaries define a healthy attachment between people. Without them, people can either become co-dependant or overly prioritize their self-protection over their overall well-being. Learning the art of boundaries can help increase security while strengthening your bond and increasing the likelihood that you’ll last forever.
Here are some small boundaries that the most successful couples set and that are worth considering in your own personal life.
1. Putting your partner first
Although putting your extended family and children second might be difficult, having your romantic partner come first and give them the attention they deserve is vital. Some people have a really tough time doing this, especially if they share a deeper bond with their kids than their partner. While protecting and loving your children and the rest of your family is key, it should never come at the cost of ignoring your partner and not giving them the primary love and attention they deserve.
When your romantic relationship suffers, it can cause consequences for the children, such as insecurity and emotional issues. If the two of you get along and come first in each other’s lives, you create a more trustworthy foundation for your kids and act as a role model to them. As a result, prioritizing your relationship with your partner is the best move you can make and will ultimately make you a better family member, parent, and friend.
2. Protecting the relationship from interference
Guarding your relationship from any external interference is essential. Remember, your partner comes first. For this reason, presenting a united front to your children and working out disagreements privately is more important than you may think. Although we don’t like to think a child would have power over us, they control our decisions more than we’d like to think, but giving them emotional support shouldn’t detract from your emotional connection with your partner.
When siblings and parents try to interfere, it’s inappropriate because they lose that label of “most important” when you marry or enter a committed relationship with your spouse. How you relate to them is different now, and it’s considered a betrayal if you prioritize supporting them over your marital relationship.
The same goes for friends, although you might have a bond forever, you have to be careful about developing emotional affairs with friends and co-workers. That intimacy is reserved for your emotional relationship.
3. They prioritize fun and fitness together
Sadly, many affairs happen at the gym, especially for those who spend hours committing themselves to being healthier on a regular basis. To avoid this, couples can work out together, or if they don’t enjoy this, at least be aware not to grow an unhealthy attachment to others. The same goes for recreational activities outside of work. While it’s fine to have your own hobbies, doing time-consuming activities with your partner is a great way to bond while having fun at the same time.
If a couple is athletically mismatched, many activities, like cycling, won’t result in a connection. However, tandem cycling, kayaking, or playing doubles, pickleball, or tennis can fix this and even encourage teamwork and growth between the two of you. Connecting with each other is more important than connecting with others, which is why fostering boundaries in outside activities matters.
4. They ensure that their careers accelerate equally
It’s unfair to have one person surpass the other in professional ambitions while their partner is stuck at home with all the responsibilities. Compromises and sacrifices between the two of you must be made. If both have demanding careers simultaneously, it may be more likely to get divorced since a marriage can’t realistically work when both people have extreme time demands – especially when you add kids. to the mix.
Taking turns, with climbing the career ladder can be a way to solve this. One person may work part-time and take on more responsibilities, while the other focuses on work more. Without the time it requires, a marriage may not be strong enough to survive, so devote the time to devise a solution that works for both of you.
5. They protect their time and show appreciation
Staying in sync is one of the things that strong couples do, but it’s not necessarily easy. It requires communication, openness, and intimacy. You can show appreciation to your partner before you kiss goodbye in the morning and even send this loving mid-day text reminding them that you miss them and look forward to spending time with them.
Knowing their mood rhythms can help you figure out when to text or say words of encouragement at an appropriate time and even help them get out of emotional funks with the right reassurance.
6. They prevent each other’s addictive behaviors
Drugs and alcohol aren’t the only addictions that exist. There are many others, such as social media addiction or being a workaholic, and they’re usually a way to disguise loneliness and emotional pain. Addiction can cause a disconnect in the relationship and prevent your partner from giving you the support you need to feel better, rather than masking those feelings with problematic behavior.
Stay away from these cycles of cravings, whether it’s smoking, drinking, gambling, or consuming adult content. These behaviors can be highly addictive and expensive, too, fostering secretive behavior and causing relationship issues.
7. They keep their digital media consumption under control
Technology and the digital world pervade every aspect of our lives these days, and it’s more important than ever to control the time spent on electronics and social media. Scrolling on your phone or watching TV while your partner talks to them can make them feel like they come second.
Consider putting down phones during mealtime and having no screen time when you’re having serious discussions or even just chatting about your days. There’s nothing wrong with a digital blackout occasionally, and it can even enhance communication between the two of you.
